Whether a couple or a lover can make it to the end depends on these four points.

/July 2023

there is a line in the movie in the mood for Love:


I never thought that marriage was so complicated. I thought it would be all right for one person to do it well, but it is not enough for two people to be together.


when you think about it, it is true.

A marriage is never a solo dance of one person. Only when two people work together can they be happy.

it's not easy to meet the right person in the sea of life.

Don't lose someone who is good to you when you lose anything; don't hurt someone who cares about you if you hurt anything.

only by cherishing each other can this relationship be stable and long.

learn to be grateful, be more grateful and less picky

as the old saying goes, "if you build the same boat in ten years, you will sleep together in a hundred years."

it is not easy for two people to walk together.

if you want this relationship to last forever, you can't do without two people supporting and caring for each other.

I remember watching the movie "Love call transfer", one of which was full of emotion.

Xu Zheng's male lead Xu Lang, in the elevator home, said to himself:

"every minute from now on, I know what will happen. She is cooking, the same noodles soybean paste, the same boring TV series, people say that the seven-year itch, I have never itched …..."

then she ate noodles without noticing what was wrong with her husband.

just looked up, but heard a sentence: let's get a divorce.

in the face of his wife's questioning, Xu Lang expressed all his dissatisfaction with his wife in one breath:

always wear his most hated purple sweater at home;

the cup for brushing your teeth must be placed on the second shelf;

toothpaste must be squeezed from the bottom up. Thursday will always be the same noodles soybean paste.

it is precisely because his wife is behind him that he is duty-bound to work hard on his career.

however, Xu Lang took his wife's efforts for granted.

in the process of two people from strangers to acquaintances to finally become husband and wife, their faces may fade, their habits will change, and their passions will fade.

but only if you know how to cherish it, it will not cool your heart and hurt your feelings.

learn to take pity on the people in front of you, be grateful, and cherish the hard-won affection between husband and wife, is the long-term solution to maintain marriage.

Don't fight for right or wrong, talk more about love and less reason

there was a topic on Zhihu: what is a happy family like?

one of the succinct high praise answers is: happy families don't fight for right or wrong.

Home is a place to talk about love. If you encounter anything, you must fight for right and wrong, which will inevitably affect your feelings.

time cannot afford to be wasted, nor can feelings stand disputes.

looking at it, partners who have been in love all their lives will not argue with each other over meaningless trifles, but use love to resolve their differences.

Zhang Guoguo knows this very well.

in the Variety "Happiness Trio", his mode of getting along with his wife can be regarded as a model for middle-aged couples.

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when asked in the interview, Zhang Guoli said frankly that their secret to happiness is to let her be happy.

Deng Jie is strong, strong and impatient, and she can't help but quarrel when she encounters something.

he chose not to argue with his wife about the so-called right or wrong, but to "pretend to be deaf and dumb" and not to take action.

program, Deng Jie jokingly said: "

because you can't compete with me, I'm usually right.


No rebuttal, just looking at his wife with love in his eyes.

Zhang Guoguo will not argue with his wife. He knows that even if he wins the argument, he will only hurt his friendship and lose his feelings.

I quite agree with what the writer Ai Xiaoyang said:

"Don't talk about values and fight for right and wrong in an intimate relationship. Instead, you should know how to reflect and be grateful. You should understand that intimacy is more important than right, and tolerance is more important than reform."

between husband and wife, what they should look like is to talk more about feelings and love, less reason and less struggle for right and wrong.

in life, truly happy marriages tend not to fight for right or wrong and be reasonable.

in many cases, knowing how to "confess" to your partner at the right time is a kind of great wisdom.

respond to everything, pay more attention and be less perfunctory

once saw a touching sentence in a book:

"the more sense of security expression than I love you is: everything has an account, everything has a reason, everything has a response."

reminds me of my best friend Xiaomin's marriage, and my heart warms up.

although they have been married for more than ten years, the two are still in love.

once I jokingly asked my best friend, what is the secret to keeping a marriage fresh?

but her best friend shook her head and said to me softly:


there is no secret, but we all care about each other, he will seriously respond to my nagging, and I will not perfunctorily talk to him.


as she spoke, Xiaomin shared with me her daily life with her husband.

Xiaomin said she had quit her job since she gave birth to the baby.Raising the children at home and living a life revolving around the children can be said to be almost isolated from the outside world.

and the husband also felt Xiaomin's efforts and did not become a cashier.

the husband will take the initiative to take care of the children after work every day, and the husband will often share the news of the day with Xiaomin, confiding in the troubles and problems he encountered, while Xiaomin will also respond positively and communicate patiently with her husband.

one day, Xiaomin browsed on moments and sighed when she saw a friend traveling to a place she had always wanted to visit.

these husbands see it in their eyes and keep it in mind.

on the eve of National Day, her husband suddenly said to Xiaomin:


Let's go on a trip and go to the place you've always wanted to go. I've bought all the tickets and let my parents take the kids first. After all these years of hard work, I will try harder to make you live a better life.


after listening to her husband's words, Xiaomin's eyes filled with tears, did not expect her inadvertent words, but was remembered by her husband.

the greatest romance in marriage is never vigorous and vows of love, but a response to everything.

two people understand each other, use love and response, harden to a comfortable temperature in ordinary days, and live a tranquil and pleasant life.

No longer ignore each other perfunctorily, but share sincerely and respond positively.

it is not easy to stay together. May you cherish the person who responds to you in everything and fall in love with him.

have discussions, respect more and be less assertive

there is an old folk saying: "

one person advocates that it is better for two people to discuss.


A really good marital relationship is never arbitrary, but it is discussed and discussed when things go wrong.

in the Battle of Love, there is a couple whose husband insists on starting a business and even does not hesitate to sell his house. The wife strongly opposes it, thinking that her husband's doing so will seriously affect her life now and even in the future.

both sides accused the other of going their own way, so they came to the "Love Defense War" for help.

Love mentor Tu Lei points out that husband and wife are a kind of deep fate.

this fate begins with falling in love and ends with a person's death.

to maintain this fate, the basis is that two people should respect each other and discuss with each other.

after all, husband and wife are lifelong partners.

Tu Lei warned them: "the husband should try to discuss more with his wife, and the wife should not hold an attitude that this matter is non-negotiable." Otherwise, the feelings will wear away slowly, and finally there will be no tacit understanding at all. "

in his view, when something happens, if both parties discuss and discuss, they will feel recognized and valued by their loved ones, and they will be sincerely happy when they unite and work together.

the comfort of marriage lies not in how much wealth you have, but in the consultation and unity of things you encounter.

usually, the conflict between husband and wife is precisely due to the arbitrariness of one party and the lack of common consultation, so that many things are not resolved, but affect the relationship.

in fact, when there is a problem, only through discussion can differences be resolved and feelings will not be estranged.

there is a good saying: "one person's efforts cannot support the marriage of two people."

similarly, the arbitrariness of one person can never suit the wishes of two people.

when you need to make a choice, you simply act arbitrarily, and no matter how deep your feelings are, you will be exhausted by being ignored.

choose to discuss together, things will be solved satisfactorily, and the distance between heart and heart will be closer.

in a real long-term marriage, both husband and wife know how to give each other a "sense of participation."

two people think in the same place, work hard in the same place, and face external troubles together, and a family will become more and more prosperous.

Mr. Lin Yutang once said:

"Marriage is like a carved ship, depending on how you appreciate it and how you control it."

Marriage is like a ship. If you want to make this ship stable and far away, you need two people to support each other and take the helm together.

A good marriage depends entirely on love.

learn to be grateful, see each other's good, be more grateful and less picky;

Don't fight for right or wrong, know how to meet each other half way, talk more about love and less reason.

respond to everything, one by one, pay more attention and less perfunctory;

consult and discuss, make decisions about big and small things together, and respect more and be less decisive.

it is not easy to fall in love, and marriage is even more difficult. Since you are lucky to be a family, you should water it with love and nourish it with your heart.

, for the rest of your life, may you learn to cherish love, cherish the people around you, and make the pain of life as sweet as honey.

minor orientation, source