The current situation of middle-aged couples: they dislike each other and never give up on each other.

/July 2023

would rather have sex with a mobile phone

without looking at each other

there is a joke: "the biggest mistress of a middle-aged couple is not so gaudy. One mobile phone is enough."

Men, two ears do not hear anything outside the window, only play with small mobile phones, the earth does not explode, mobile phones do not put down.

lie down at home, grab your cell phone, either smirk with a short video, or concentrate on playing games.

Women have a busy day at work, children and housework, hoping to get their blood back with their mobile phones.

whenever you are free, you also hold your cell phone. You can either watch the live "Buy Buy" or catch up with the TV series.

holding each other's mobile phones, they are calm with each other; they put down their mobile phones and lose their minds, leaving only two people to look at each other.

read a report:

"by interviewing several gold medal family mediators, we have come to the conclusion that 30% of the reasons for divorce are related to mobile phones. Mobile social communication and mobile games take up the time that couples perform their duties to the family, and mobile payment leads to the economic separation of husband and wife. "

but there are also many netizens who hit the nail on the head:

is that the relationship between husband and wife has faded, and the mobile phone does not carry this pot.

under the topic of Zhihu's "widowed marriage", netizens

@ the brave alone


"I don't know since when, I have nothing to say to my husband. I want to solve everything by myself. Mobile phone is the best medium for me to ask for help."

in fact, many middle-aged couples do not encounter problems of principle, but just fall into "marital aphasia" in the daily life of firewood, rice and salt.

I watched a marriage documentary, and the director spent seven years filming eight couples, one of whom impressed me.

in front of the camera, the wife calmly asked her husband, "do you talk to me for more than an hour every day?"

the husband said, "you keep looking at your cell phone and won't talk to me."

Robin Williams once said:

"the scariest thing in the world is not to die alone, but to end up with the person who makes you lonely."

it seems to be the mobile phone that is guilty, but in fact, it is the communication problems between husband and wife.

No concern, no communication, you are busy with yours, I play with mine, two people are like polite friends, like righteous brothers, but not like a close couple.

it is better to have sex with a mobile phone than to look at each other, which may be the true portrayal of many middle-aged couples.

you and I have no chance

it all depends on the entanglement of children

self-media author

@ Liu Xiaonian

, have shared their stories on the Internet.

she and her husband have been married for nine years. After having a child, she decided to resign and go home to take care of the baby, and this area has been for seven years.

at first, she planned to learn to improve herself while taking care of her children, but reality hit her on the head.

"the child is a big time shredder. Even if you have 48 hours a day, she will fill you up, not to mention reading, even if you are too lazy to wash your face."

and the husband? In the words of Liu Xiaonian, it looks like a different person.

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since she stayed at home full-time, her husband has lived a life of "opening his mouth and holding out his hand". He pays less attention to his wife and only cares about himself and shouts tiredness.

looking forward to the child going to kindergarten, Liu Xiaonian plans to return to the workplace.

but I don't want to, and there are layers of obstacles.

on the one hand, the child has a cold and fever that needs to be taken care of, and on the other is the employer's prejudice and contempt for stay-at-home mothers.

she is full of grievances. She wanted to talk about her own affairs with her husband, but she was waiting for her husband's views on the education of her children.

the child of a colleague won a prize in the piano competition; the child of a client learned to draw at the age of 3; and the child of a fellow scholar was proficient in chess, piano, calligraphy and painting.

your daughter's age is the best time to develop a sense of language. You'd better communicate with her in English for half an hour every day, or read some English picture books.

Don't rush to find a job and raise your children first.


listening to her husband's output, she couldn't help feeling that you and I had no chance, and it all depended on the child's entanglement.

after several years of marriage, the content of the conversation between husband and wife has gradually changed from caring for each other to talking only about children.

many middle-aged couples agree with this:

if you don't believe it, check the chat transcript. In the dialog box with your husband, 9 of the 10 sentences are children, and the remaining one may be a transfer record.

the pace of life is getting faster and faster, the competition for survival is becoming more and more fierce, the middle-aged couple are galloping on their own track, and the children have become their only meeting point.

"is the baby asleep?"

"are you in the tutoring class yet?"

"is the parent-teacher meeting held yet?"

these have become a frequent topic of communication between middle-aged couples, but there are fewer and fewer concerns such as "are you tired at work" and "are you in a good mood?"

the most gripping truth between middle-aged couples is to maintain a relationship with their children, rather than on each other's love and care.

dislike each other

never give up on one side

someone on the Internet asked, "what is husband and wife?"

A high praise replied:

"when you don't fight, you can die for Ta; when you fight, you think it's Ta who deserves to die."After the quarrel, I thought, what should I do if Ta is dead? "

this is humor and truth that only people can understand.

there is no perfect marriage in the world. No matter how close the couple are, they have thought of getting divorced 200 times.

but the fact is that most couples dislike each other and never give up.

in the TV series "the Story under the Lion Rock", Luo Tong and Zhen Ximei, a pair of "happy enemies", have countless fans.

when they first met, rich daughter Zhen Qianmei fell in love with the hotel chef Luo at first sight. They broke through the secular barriers and quickly entered the marriage hall.

when the affection fades away, the husband and wife pay attention to each other's problems.

Luo couldn't get used to Zhen Xianmei's young lady's temper. She thought that she was not smart, and that listening to the wind was rain. Zhen Xianmei felt that her husband was unambitious, short-sighted and narrow-minded.

Zhen Qianmei wants to emigrate to Britain, but Luo is determined not to go. The couple were furious about this and both vowed to say goodbye.

in the end, Zhen Ximei was still reluctant to give up her husband, and Luo also tried his best to stay, and the family did not break up after all.

later, Zhen Xianmei bought a luxury house with a loan of more than 10 million yuan. She "killed first and played later" and was so angry that she jumped together.

husband and wife for this matter, you blame me for spending a lot of money, I don't think you have the courage.

however, when the crisis hit and Zhen Ximei was discouraged, she was accompanied by Luo, caring and relieved.

this couple have quarreled and quarreled all their lives, but they can help each other at critical moments and tide over the difficulties together.

Ibsen said that marriage is a great test of life.

when you are in love, there is a starlight in the eyes you look at your lover.

but once we get married and the hormones fade away over the years, we will see more calmly the shortcomings of our partner and the contradictions and differences in the folds of life.

there is no husband and wife who do not quarrel or break up. The normal state of marriage is to dislike each other while not being able to abandon each other.

Love is like the salt in life, more salty, less light, but the fact is that most couples are still in this mediocre light, accompanied by a long way.

Happy marriage

are all "fake"

about marriage, I very much agree with the writer Bo Yang's sentence:

"those who live in marriage live with their eyes half open and half closed."

if you observe carefully, it is not difficult to find that those happily married couples have one thing in common, that is, they are good at pretending.

pretend to be deaf and dumb, pretend to be blind, can pretend to be confused, do not show cleverness, can compromise, do not go tit-for-tat.

these seemingly silly behaviors actually have a deep feeling and wisdom behind them.

how can we pretend to be happy in marriage? Three suggestions are given to you.

play dumb, love is more important than reason

there is an interesting episode of "ace to trump".

the host asked, "Ladies, where is the man's pocket money hidden behind you?"

Hu Ke, Sha Yi's wife, immediately wrote on the cardboard: behind the radiator.

Sha Yi asked sheepishly, "how do you know the money is hidden behind the radiator?"

Hu Ke said: "because the radiator is not usually cleaned, it happens to be heating soon. There is a lot of ash behind the radiator. When I was cleaning, I discovered this secret."

it turned out that Hu Ke had discovered that Sha Yi was hiding private money, but she never said anything about it, let alone exposed it immediately.

the writer Chang'an once said in August: "between people, only be reasonable when there is no emotion." Love is a field of love, not a place of reason. "

as an old saying goes, "husband and wife are unreasonable and angry with you. Husband and wife should be emotional and hurt each other."

learn to play dumb in marriage. After all, home is the place to talk about love.

pretend to be weak and make the other person feel needed

there is a touching story that many people must have read.

Mrs. Thatcher came home from the inauguration and knocked hard on the door, alarming her busy husband.

the husband asked, "who is it?"

Thatcher said angrily, "it's me!"

after waiting for a long time, the husband didn't open the door, so Thatcher said again, "Honey, open the door. I'm your wife."

this time, her voice was gentle enough, and when her husband opened the door, he couldn't help giving her a warm hug.

in marriage, an appropriate sign of weakness is not to give up principles and touch the bottom line, but a kind of wisdom of "retreat for progress".

pretend to be confused, the little things are not serious

I have seen such a marriage testimony on the Internet:

"what is the algorithm for marriage? Marriage is not clear. Do I love you more, or do you love me more?

do you care more, or do I calculate less? The algorithm of marriage, in the end, forget it. This is the best algorithm. "

many conflicts between husband and wife are due to being too clear and haggling over pennies.

"you give more gifts to your relatives than to my family."

"it's your turn to do the dishes and clean up today, and overtime is no exception."

"Let's each make money, and let's go Dutch for dinner."


these trivialities that don't seem to need to be taken seriously add up to bring down a marriage.

husband and wife care too much about each other, in fact, it is to put both sidesIn the "marriage internal friction", the result will only become more and more tired, the heart is getting farther and farther away.

wise people all know that families should discuss big things together, and don't worry about trifles.

when people reach middle age and are burdened with trifles, life is naturally complicated and stressful.

especially the marriage of the middle-aged, it is even more difficult to walk under the competition and pressure of survival.

but life is just as Mr. Yang Jiang said:

"Life is half firewood, rice, oil and salt, half stars and sea." Put a little salt, it is salty, put a little sugar, it is sweet. It's up to you to change the flavor. "

I believe that even if life is full of problems, the marriage of middle-aged people can still be a soothing harbor as long as we deal with it head on and improve it with our heart.

, I hope you finish reading this article, put down your phone, give your lover a hug, chat together, listen to music, and give each other a fresh start.

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