The current situation of China's first batch of "dink couple" has been exposed! They finally regret it?
"it's a deal, dink, you'll get divorced if you want to be born!"
I saw a suffocating video the other day.
A pair of post-90s dink couples who live under the same roof are not as good as strangers.
from morning to night, the two people do their own things all the time, communicating with each other by shouting, and there is almost no physical contact.
after getting up, even if both people eat a simple fitness meal, they still cook their own breakfast.
the husband went to the gym after eating, and the dishes and chopsticks were left on the table waiting for his wife to wash.
both of them work from home, and they still can't say a word a day as they spend more time together.
whenever there is something to discuss, it is to use quarrels instead of communication.
the husband always has a cold face, and most of the two get in touch with each other because they have to take care of the sick dog.
when friends come to the family, they can maintain harmony for half a day, talking and laughing, and friends continue to ignore each other when they are gone.
when the relationship is cold, there can be no line of sight in a room of less than ten square meters.
when the relationship is relaxed, two people can still eat at the same table and go out together;
but even if he went out the door, the husband would leave as soon as he could, and he didn't want to wait for the wife who was still left behind.
on her husband's birthday, the wife wants to surprise him and ease the relationship.
I carefully prepared the cake and boiled eggs for my husband according to the custom of my hometown, but I didn't get a look.
I believe that two people without children can have a common language all their lives, and they are not afraid that their marriage will be disturbed.
and the couple don't even seem to have the same relationship as their roommate, and fans are baffled by her husband's inexplicable hostility.
I can't understand the reason until I see the follow-up.
the complaining couple used to be lovers.
they also talked about everything and had the same personality, and the two decided to get married and not have children.
but my wife's mind has changed in the past two years.
Glamorous and trendy, retro prom for sale gowns are defnitely a must-have. Peace of mind from the minute you buy.
she forced her husband to have more contact with families with children, often mentioning:
"it's nice to have a child."
the marriage life in which the couple's relationship is not as good as that of their roommates has aroused a lot of discussion.
many people say watching her video suffocates like a script, but I am more curious about the life of the dink family.
will couples who decide to dink before marriage still not waver after marriage?
when it comes to dink, most of what we see is "freedom, no pressure", a lot of time and money can be used to enjoy their own life.
but in fact, the contradiction in marriage is not just about children.
Young people's flocking to "dink" is more like an emotional vent and a delay in the rebellious period.
they are still at a loss about the pressure on dink families and their future plans.
when it comes to this question, I always wonder, how are the first dink families doing?
"No matter what choice you make, you will regret it when you grow old."
I was impressed by a pair of post-70s couples who had been married for more than 20 years.
when their wives retired early at the age of 41, they decided to find their passion for life again and go to see poetry and distance.
the two men drove off and went all the way to Lhasa.
attended the barbecue festival of Tibetan friends together, walking along the clear streams of the plateau hand in hand.
I have driven all over China and seen mountains and rivers.
now they are in their fifties with great peace of mind.
was not pushed against the pressure of racing against time to earn money to support his family. He was true to his heart and chose a way of life that was not recognized at that time.
they have become one person when they are in love. As long as they are together, they will be at home wherever they go.
such a deep love is enviable, but the truth of life is that ideals often succumb to reality.
not everyone can stand the gossip from the outside world, and not everyone is ready to be lonely in old age.
No matter how much money and wealth there is, once the balance tilts, the pressure will all fall on one person's shoulders.
Director er Dongsheng was wild and unrestrained when he was young, talented and handsome, full of flowers, affectionate and affectionate.
both Yu Anan and Maggie Cheung, who were gorgeous in Hong Kong at that time, had a history with him.
until 1999, the 43-year-old and Luo Xiaowen, a kindergarten teacher 13 years younger, finally made up their minds.
what binds er Dongsheng is Luo Xiaowen's eternal low profile in this marriage.
er Dongsheng has repeatedly stressed that he is a dink, and that he does not want to have children in middle age, and she agrees.
after 20 years of wind and rain together, er Dongsheng suddenly changed his mind.
after the divorce was announced in 2018, it was revealed that he and his new girlfriend's daughter were already two years old.
and the 50-year-old wife walked out alone, long past the childbearing age.
being alone in his old age, it's too late to regret.
for ordinary people, there is no courage to divorce, and there is no room for wayward actions.
the end result will only be one party bowing to save the marriage.
bilibili has a up
@ all hee
, beautiful and talented, very much in love with my husband.
she already has a lot of ordinary people, and it's hard to work.And things.
Master's degree from China's top universities, meticulous logical thinking, independent women's thinking and even seven-figure savings.
she and her husband agreed to dink before they got married. as a result, in the fourth year of marriage, her husband backed out.
between her beloved husband and her ideal of freedom, she chose to compromise.
getting pregnant and giving birth to a child, step by step, walked into the whirlpool that he most wanted to escape.
this is also the process experienced by most dink families.
choose in a high profile, waver in the torture of the outside and inside, and then seize the time to have children while you are still in childbearing age.
the insistence on "dink" can hardly outweigh the condemnation of parents'"unfilial piety" and the pressure of having nothing to support.
people are fragile and changeable, and they can only choose to compromise in order to care more about things.
in the final analysis, dink must be an agreed choice between husband and wife.
if there is no coordination on this point, then such two people are not fit to get married at all.
but to put it another way, don't close your heart even if you hold dink's ideas together to form a family.
each stage of life has different concepts and goals, and the concept is not immutable. What I am afraid of is that one side has not changed and the other has changed.
you may regret what kind of life you choose in the end, but don't let your present life leave regrets anyway.
if you are not ready to have a baby now, you might as well wait.
when you are more mature and the economy is more relaxed, it will be much easier for everyone to welcome the arrival of a small life.
if you feel very happy and comfortable in this childless life, and both husband and wife have full trust and sense of security, then keep the status quo and go together.
Don't sway around because of all kinds of sounds from the outside world.
one day he is worried that he has nothing to support, and the other he worries about other people's eyes and gossip.
when you encounter a problem, find a way to solve the problem.
after all, it is not the people who talk and express their opinions who bear the results, but the ones who make the choices.
"I'm running away from the hardest thing in the world--
be a good father "
some people choose dink passively because one of the husband and wife is infertile.
this kind of marriage is maintained simply by love, and it is easy for two people to accept the reality and focus on life.
if the two sides rely on each other and support each other, the relationship between husband and wife will be closer.
from the lover before the flower to the relative of Prime Minister Bai.
now, more and more young people choose to take the initiative.
they reached a consensus: marriage is OK, but child-rearing is not.
not long ago, the 2022 edition of China Fertility cost report was released.
based on the average consumption level in 2019, the cost of raising a child to the age of 17 is about 485000 yuan.
this does not include helping children buy a house and a car after graduating from college, as well as betrothal gifts and dowries to get married in the future.
for many young people whose credit cards are overdrawn and their wages are moonlit, this expense is unthinkable.
some people say, as for you, you can raise a child if you have something to eat.
raising but not teaching is irresponsible for another life.
responsible parents always want to try their best to give their children the best.
not to save face, but to prevent children from complaining that they do not have the same opportunities and conditions as others when they grow up.
others can not be critical of their dink's choice, after all, they are out of reality and rationality.
of course, I have to admit that some people choose dink as an evasion of parental responsibility.
column "Youth talk", there is a guest who has been determined by dink since he graduated from college.
I went to the hospital to have a vasectomy, and when I fell in love, I clearly told each other what I thought of dink.
finally found someone with the same ideas and walked into the hall of marriage.
he admitted in front of the camera that he chose dink because he wanted to evade the responsibility of being a father.
he doesn't have the confidence to be a good father.
in his eyes, like himself, an ordinary person everywhere, it takes more than a decade to find the meaning of life, how can he have the ability to become an excellent father.
it is already difficult to follow the path of your own life, let alone take the child and guide him to start another exploration.
if the child is not taught well, it will ruin his life and impose a burden on the society.
at the thought of such a possibility, he could not accept the status of "father".
since childhood, he has been well-off and can easily choose the life he likes.
for him, not giving his children the right to choose has been a failure.
he has already figured out the answer to the question of "it is difficult to provide for the aged" and "there is no one to take care of illness".
it is not a problem to have doctors and nurses for minor ailments.
if it really comes to the short time when ICU uses a tube to consume a child's savings for no quality of life, he would rather give up his life.
and he registered organ donation several years ago.
even if he doesn't have children, he will give back to society in his own way.
whether sober or evasive, dink made his own decision.
only by being in it can you understand everyone's final choice.
instead of standing on the moral high ground to criticize, it is better to put yourself in their shoes to understand the difficulties they face.
preaching to others with what you think is a complete and happy life will only lead you to another dead end.
after all, dink is a very minority and difficult way of life to maintain.
under the concept of equality, their choices should be respected.
We should reflect on the problems that are difficult to ignore under the rising tide.
Schopenhauer says we should not expect too much from ourselves.
after thinking and correcting, maybe we can also find a little direction of our own future in other people's lives.
dink is a gamble
dink is a gamble for the future.
bet on the trust between partners, bet on whether they are firm enough, but also bet on elusive human nature.
those who can stick it out must be extraordinarily powerful.
because once you regret it, it's hard to get back to square one.
Kanghui and his wife have been married for 18 years and have always been in love.
he used to be a staunch dink.
but his mother has been unable to understand his decision, and even before his death, his greatest wish was that Kanghui and his wife could have a child of their own.
Kang Hui wrote in his autobiography "average score":
for more than ten years, my mother has mentioned less and less about wanting to have grandchildren, as if she was unwilling, but powerless, so she accepted the fact that I chose dink.
but if I can do it all over again, I think I will fulfill her wish early and give her an ice and snow lovely grandson in front of her knee, which is also a copy of her life genes. She will leave her deep or shallow imprint in this world in the future when she is in or away.
he regretted dink.
even out of filial piety.
at the age of 20, I just want to escape the control of my parents and feel that people have to stick to their own choices and live their wonderful lives.
but at the age of forty, my heart is getting softer and softer. I feel more and more grateful that it is not easy for my parents to raise. I just want to make them feel less sorry.
Don't decide on dink at will, nor should you get married hastily and have children for the sake of outside pressure.
the consequences of such an irresponsible decision will be even more painful. After all, a baby is born, and ta will be your lifelong responsibility.
the older generation often exports to us the concept of "raising children to guard against old age".
do not realize that this is also the driving force that causes young people to resist giving birth.
before the baby was born, ta was forced to bear the responsibility of providing for the aged.
for young people who increasingly respect individuality and fairness, this one-way "deal" makes them feel offended.
filial piety is a moral concept formed by children under the influence of their parents and setting an example.
A child is not a tool or an accessory to a parent.
they should come to this world because of their parents' love, not for any other purpose.
of course, with what point of view and state of mind to enter into marriage, everyone has his own ideas.
We cannot take risks for others, so we are not qualified to decide other people's way of life.
Zhou Guoping has this passage in "everyone is a Universe":
"when we live in the world, we cannot help but bear all kinds of responsibilities, ranging from family, duty, country and society.
however, let us not forget that apart from this, we have a fundamental responsibility, that is, to be responsible for our own lives. "
No matter what decision you make, live up to the success of your life.