The best way to save your life: stop internal friction

/July 2023

Martin Garad, a famous American psychologist, did an experiment:

before execution,

the judge asked people to use wood chips, in


then, turn on the faucet and drip water into the copper basin under the bed, making a dingdong sound.

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the sound of dripping water changes from fast to slow, causing great fear.

A day later, the judge came here again and found that the criminal was seriously ill.

but, in fact, he didn't shed a drop of blood.

the most typical state of internal friction is that the body is motionless and the mind is active.

if you worry too much, your heart will be scattered, and if your heart is scattered, you will lose heart.

only refusing internal friction is the best antidote to life.

what tires you is to think too much about everything

February 9, during the Beijing Winter Olympic Games.

Ren Ziwei, the world's No. 1 in the men's 1500-meter semi-final of short-track speed skating, was out early and missed the final because he was punished for a foul.

when reviewing his mistakes, Ren Ziwei said the most frequently:

failed because I thought too much.

Ren Ziwei himself has been thinking: how to win the first place in the final, which tactics to win quickly, and what to do if he can't get the first place.

his thoughts before the game were excessive, which left him with a heavy mental burden.

so much so that during the official competition, Ren Ziwei was in poor taxiing condition, made a low-level mistake, and was cancelled because of a collision foul.

Ren Ziwei said:

"the semi-finals are not over, but I keep thinking about the final.

I had already lost half before I went on stage. "

as the old saying goes, "those who are willing are tired, but those who do not care do not care."

most of the time, people live tired, not because of the difficulties encountered, but because they think too much.

A small thing, if you think too much, you will be depressed; if you think too much, you will be under pressure;

if you think too much about a good thing, you will worry about gain and loss; if you think too much about a bad thing, you will be sleepless.

if the heart is simple, the world is simple; if the heart is complex, the world is complex.

the tiredness of life is in the heart; if the heart is not tired, the man is not tired.

the most terrible thing about a person is not how much he failed along the way, but when he was supposed to move forward with all sorts of thoughts.

do you often do this in your life:

tomorrow's exam, obviously there is plenty of time, but you still have to worry about whether you can catch up.

all the words are spoken during the day, but before you go to bed at night, you should ponder over and over whether you should say it or not.

when others sing and win the attention of the audience, they will whisper: if I take part in …...

psychologist said: "thinking about everything is a kind of internal friction, it not only can not help you, but also will exhaust all your energy."

the most lossmaking thing in the world is to worry about what hasn't happened yet and worry about the results of your imagination.

people's energy is limited, so don't take everything to heart.

for things in life, just do your best; for emotional things, just let nature take its course.

stopping mental internal friction and not thinking too much about everything is the best state of one's life.

what makes you miserable is emotional internal friction

psychologist Mike once told the story of a patient:

one day, Hall flipped through his moments before going to bed and found that his colleague Allen liked all his mutual friends, but not himself.

Hall was so frustrated that he thought of his mediocre work performance, mediocre relationship with leaders, and no hope of promotion in the near future.

he felt that not only Alan, but also his colleagues looked down on him.

he regretted that he should not have given up money and did not give gifts to the leader.

Hall became so sad as he thought about it that he couldn't sleep all night.

the next morning, I sent my daughter to kindergarten.

after being reminded by the teacher, Hall remembered that the kindergarten had an activity today, and the teacher sent a notice to wear a tuxedo yesterday, and he forgot about it.

it was too late to go home and change clothes, so my daughter had to be disqualified from the event.

looking at his daughter standing alone, Hall blamed himself and felt that his family was excluded because he was useless.

A casual remark from others plunges him into deep self-remorse and sadness.

he began to lose sleep, his hair fell out and he became haggard.

there is nothing in the world to worry about.

some pain comes from clinging to the little things at hand, which magnifies the unpleasant things.

the famous Fistinger's Law points out:

10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.

for a sensitive person, a simple word or casual action of others may affect his heart, influence his mood, and affect his mood.

but everything has its advantages and disadvantages.

the more you care about something, the more it will torture you.

if you care about other people's eyes, you will be nervous because of shyness; if you pay attention to other people's opinions, you will blame yourself for mistakes; if you expect others' comments, you will be mediocre.Pain.

there are many tribulations in life, so you don't have to get caught up in internal friction for every little thing.

those who criticize you may be used to being picky, while those who ignore you are indifferent by nature.

A person's clearest understanding is to understand that other people's words and deeds have nothing to do with themselves.

peace of mind and getting out of internal friction is the strong beginning of life.

refusing internal friction is the best antidote to life

Xiao Li and Zhu Yun, the owners of two neighboring clothing stores, were forced to close their shops because they could not make ends meet during the epidemic.

after the shop closed, both of them were depressed.

Zhuyun groans all day long, complains about natural and man-made disasters, can't eat well or sleep well every day, and often quarrels with people, causing acquaintances to avoid them one after another.

Xiao Li was also depressed for a while, but she soon picked herself up and learned to bring goods live online.

in the past two months, Xiao Li has studied more than 100 live broadcasts and written a thick notebook.

now, Xiao Li has her own fan base.

not only is there a lot of repurchases, but there is also a sharp increase in new fans, and sales are several times higher than before.

there are always disappointments in life. Instead of being tortured by mental internal friction, it is better to cure yourself with action.

perhaps, action will not bring you immediate success, but it can slowly get you out of trouble.

if you walk every day, you are not afraid of thousands of miles; if you do it every day, you are not afraid of thousands of things.

people who look better than you just get rid of internal friction earlier than you do.

only if you are not disturbed by external things, can you enrich your soul; if you don't have to punish yourself for other people's mistakes, you will live at ease.

Zeng Guofan said: "things come to adapt, the future is not welcome, at that time is not miscellaneous, neither love nor too much."

if you have a wide heart, you will have no worries; if you have a big heart, you will have no worries.

as the saying goes: "empty talk, water foam; action, gold bit by bit."

if you are not afraid of being slow in doing things, you are afraid of breaking up.

when others are still hesitant about whether or not to do it, you have already defeated most people when you take the first step of action.

as snowboarding champion Su Yiming said, "what's ahead?" If you slide down, there will be an answer. "

the simplest cure for internal friction is to act immediately.

rejecting internal friction and acting immediately is the beginning of a better life.

this book is published under authorization.