Parents' mouth is the feng shui of a family.
language is a living
"my father and I don't know each other at all."
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this is what Alex said about his father in the documentary short film "I don't know how to Love".
she said, "
if other people's father and daughter say everything, between me and my father, there is nothing to say.
in her impression, the closest moment she could think of with her father was only one picture of her father holding her in the palm of his hand when she was 1 years old. It seems that she has not been so close since then.
Father is serious and silent, not very good at expressing feelings. Even though he was looking forward to his daughter's coming home, what he said was hurtful: your mother will miss you, but I don't, ever since I was a child.
the harshness and indifference of the father leaves an insurmountable ditch in the daughter's heart.
she always thinks that her father is a very difficult person to communicate with.
such scenes are not uncommon in daily life.
I love my children to the bone, but I always "hurry to do my homework" as soon as I open my mouth.
obviously distressed that the child was too tired from his studies, but he said, "stop playing and go to bed."
knowing that he had done something wrong, he only said, "all right, don't cry".
the poet Angelo said:
"although we can't see words, they become a kind of energy, filling the room, the family, the environment and our hearts.
language is alive, it has the ability to create and destroy. "
parents' mouths contain not only the happiness of a child, but also the fengshui of a family.
parents say well, the family has upward power
in psychology, there is a famous "visual cliff experiment".
Mother and child are separated at both ends of the glass cliff, looking at each other.
in the first round of the experiment, the mother looked at the child with a straight face. The child climbed halfway, hesitated and crawled back.
in the second round of the experiment, the mother smiled and encouraged the child continuously. Although the child was afraid, the child finally climbed bravely to the finish line and happily jumped into the mother's arms.
in the process of growing up, children will experience many such "cliff experiments".
when they have joy to share and difficulties to ask for help, the parents who always smile and encourage them are their warmest safe havens.
the story of a netizen makes people feel very deeply.
his father is a soldier with a strong sense of principle and deep character.
"I seldom saw him joking since I was a child, and I was a little afraid of him."
after I went to primary school, I was very naughty and often made mistakes. When I got home, it became common to be scolded and punished.
gradually, he blamed his father, thinking that he could only see his shortcomings, but always ignored his strengths.
until one day, he took back the exam paper for his father to sign. His father put on presbyopic glasses and looked at it under the light for a long time. He looked at him and smiled: "well, that's good. I've made some progress. Come on, boy!"
long-lost praise, let his heart warm, he said: maybe my father until now did not know, his words, completely changed me, I know that I can really.
once read a passage:
the purpose of parents is not to give their children comfort and affluence, but to:
you can always get strength and warmth from them, so that you can have the courage and ability to overcome difficulties and reap the real fun and freedom of life.
this strength and warmth comes from parents' affirmation and praise.
it is like a torch, illuminating the child's way forward.
such a family must be better and better.
parents talk leisurely, the family has the power to warm up
there has been an online communication survey between parents and children, and the results show that:
nearly 60% of parents and children spend less than 30 minutes a day chatting, and only 1.6% of parents are willing to gossip with their children.
many parents always complain that the older their children are, the more difficult it is to communicate, but in fact, how we treat our children also determines their attitude towards us.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu, a literary master of a generation, is a father who loves to gossip.
when his daughter was young, he would use ink to draw a beard on his daughter's face, draw a ghost face on his belly, and give his daughter a nickname.
she would laugh at her father for being color-blind, confused in many colors, and sometimes ridiculed as a fool and a fool by her naughty father.
ordinary simple words, laughter, so that this simple cabin has a warm power, like a cluster of flames in the snowy night, swaying in the night wind, illuminating the way home.
once heard the phrase "
the extent to which you gossip with your child determines the quality of the parent-child relationship.
tell children more stories, tell stories about life, talk about children in the class, it will raise a warm atmosphere, but also open the heart of the child.
the way in which a good friend of mine gets along with his son is particularly touching.
when she is with her son, she doesn't have the seriousness of her parents at all, but like a friend, she listens to children share some little secrets between children and speak ill of their teachers.
in the meantime, sheYou can also put your arms around your son's shoulder and tell your son your story.
in her heart, this little person is not only the love she bought with her life, but also her best "little friend".
seemingly insipid gossip strung together the hearts of the family, so that everyone, no matter where they are, miss and care for each other.
such a family must be pure and romantic.
parents say it well, the family has the power to be sunny
teacher Li Meijin said:
talk to your child correctly in stages.
talk more in childhood, less in childhood, not in adolescence.
grasp the discretion of speaking, say what should be said, do not say what should not be said, and leave enough space for the child, which is also the best understanding and respect for the child.
writer Liu Yong once said bluntly: "
I installed a latch for my son's bedroom.
he said that in life, he found that every time the child's grandmother tried to enter the child's room, she would knock politely: "
Baby, can I come in?
Grandma pushed the door open before she could get the child's permission.
worried that his grandmother's words and actions would hurt the child, Liu Yong took the initiative to tell the child to add a latch to his room.
he said: "Adolescent children have their private world, and if they are always afraid that someone will push the door in at any time, the subconscious may cause harm."
keenly capture the child's heart, read their confusion, give them respect, is the best care for the child.
2014 marks the 25th anniversary of the signing of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Actor Chen Kun wrote this sentence:
I hope that every child's parents can listen attentively to their children's inner voice and respect their children's opinions!
throughout the years when he grew up with his son, Chen Kun did achieve listening and respect.
the son has trouble, he listens carefully, the son dreams to go to NBA, he supports, the son likes to play the piano, he respects.
Chen Kun has always put himself on an equal footing with his children, leaning down, squatting down, and getting along with his son in a non-deceptive, non-violent, and unbiased attitude.
the growth of children is a journey full of adventures and difficulties, during which there will be many moments of pain, confusion and loss.
every time they transform, although it will be painful, the kindness, sincerity, respect and trust they get from their parents will make them learn more psychological nutrition and live a pure and thorough life.
such a family must be born in the sun.
parents can talk, the family is healthy
each child's growth is different, but one thing is the same, and that is sense of security.
the child's sense of security is:
No matter what the result is, I can feel the encouragement from my parents.
No matter the grades are good or bad, someone can hear my voice.
No matter when and where, I can get the respect I want.
this sense of security is hidden in my parents' language.
good parents can speak well, idle and clever. their mouths are not only the happiness of a family, a good fengshui of a family, but also a brilliant future for their children.