Never take human feelings too seriously.

/July 2023

"Zengguang Xianwen" has a saying: "

there are many brothers with money and wine, but it is hard to see anyone in a hurry.


time knows people, but it is difficult to know them.

after experience, people are like the sea, and feelings are as thin as paper.

not taking human feelings too seriously is a person's greatest maturity and self-knowledge.

overestimate the relationship, only gain disappointment

Bai Juyi once sighed: "the road is difficult, not in the water, not in the mountains, only in the repetition of human feelings."

fickle but human, cool but human.

in the TV series "Golden Powder Family", when the Jin family was prosperous, young master Yanxi was surrounded by a group of buddies who echoed.

he treats his best friend Liu Baoshan with double ribs.

when Liu Baoshan was arrested for committing a crime, Yanxi risked getting her family into a crisis and spent 50,000 yuan to redeem her best friend.

however, when the Jin family fell behind and Yanxi asked for help, the so-called brothers disappeared one by one.

then he thought of Liu Baoshan, the old friend he had tried his best to help, so he came to the door with great expectation.

as a result, Liu Baoshan was evaded, perfunctory, and even shut him out.

there is a saying in Historical Records: "when one dies, one knows friendship; one poor and one rich knows friendship; one expensive and one cheap, friendship can be seen."

the truth can only be seen clearly when there is a matter of classics, but it is difficult to see through the hearts of the people.

someone once asked Mr. Ji Xianlin what was the greatest realization in his more than 80 years of life.

he sighed: "the world is cold, ancient and modern."

he is always unforgettable. When he offended a big shot for being frank and outspoken, he was charged with trumped-up charges and sent to the cowshed for transformation.

people who had been respectful to him immediately regarded him as a passer-by, and no one spoke to him.

it is funny that when he was reinstated, everyone suddenly swarmed up again, and the crowd turned into a crowd of guests.

there is a saying in Caigen Tan: "Hunger is attached, satiety is raised, hunger is inclined, cold is abandoned, and human feelings are common."

there are too many relationships in this world that gather for benefit and break up as much as possible.

as the saying goes, the world is often ripe when it is prosperous, and human feelings are often cool in defeat.

Don't overestimate your emotional scores, don't underestimate people's hearts, and you won't be disappointed.

relying on human feelings is a disaster

there is a sentence in "fatal connections": "humanity is not only a sword that opens the way, but also a cocoon bound by itself."

it may be possible to take shortcuts and shortcuts through human kindness, but what is given by others will naturally be taken away, and what is easily obtained will be easily lost.

in Fortress besieged, after Fang Hung-chien, who was studying abroad, returned home, at a time when it was difficult to find a job, he easily got his first job through his father-in-law, working at his father-in-law's gold bank.

he, who thought he could rest easy, did not expect that the following days would be even more awkward and difficult.

every day, I not only look at people's faces, but also endure the strange behavior of my mother-in-law from time to time:

"eat the meal of my Zhou family, live in the Zhou family's house, earn my Zhou family's money, do not think that without us, who would like you!"

Fang Hung-chien's second job was introduced by his friend Chao Hsin-mei to teach at a university. For Chao Hsin-mei's sake, the president gave him an associate professor.

Liu Tong said: "Don't pin your hopes on others, whether it's relationship or work, otherwise the only result will be unprepared."

if you rely too much on others, you will only put yourself in a passive position and be controlled by others.

people in this life, rely on the mountains will fall, rely on everyone can run, only rely on their own the most reliable.

Oil tycoon Rockefeller once encouraged the child to jump off the table when he was playing with his child and opened his arms to signal that he would catch him.

but when the child jumped, Rockefeller didn't answer it, and the child fell to the ground.

he squatted down and solemnly taught the first lesson of his life to the crying child.

he said, "you have to remember that you have to rely on yourself in everything. Don't count on others. They are unreliable."

"Social Exchange Theory" says: "

the most essential hidden logic of human relations is that there should be equal value exchange.


if you don't have the value of the other person and the resources you can exchange with the other person, no matter how much you put into taking care of the human relationship, you will only be affectionate in the end.

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Wang Shimin, founder of YouCore, talks about his wife.

when his wife was in MBA, a classmate in the same class was keen on human relations, so she spent most of her time socializing.

but his wife has no distractions and spends all her time and energy on it.Ploughing her own, during which she achieved remarkable results and excellent professional ability, she broke out her own world in the industry by virtue of her ability.

when there was a mistake in her graduation thesis, everyone came to help with it.

the ability is 1, and the relationship is the next 0.

if you are incompetent, no matter how many relationships you have, no matter how hard you try to please, you will not get real recognition and respect from everyone.

as Tu Youyou said:

"Friends made with human feelings are only temporary. Enriching yourself is always more powerful than pleasing others."

therefore, instead of consuming yourself too much in human feelings, it is better to immerse yourself in doing things and focus on improving yourself.

when you are good enough, someone will come to you.

I especially like a sentence in "the first half of my Life":

"No one will be our safe haven forever. Only ourselves are our own refuge."

others will eventually be disappointed, and the skill in hand is the real sense of security.

, from today on, do not expect, do not please, and strive to improve yourself.