It is not betrayal or quarrel that makes the relationship die.
there is a problem with Zhihu:
which moment makes you suddenly give up on a person?
there is a very real answer below:
Heart death is never an instant thing, but is erased in countless speechless days and nights, and hurt in every perfunctory love answer.
in fact, all emotional alienation can be traced.
it's not betrayal or quarrel that makes a relationship die, but I'm standing right in front of you, but two people are speechless.
indifference is a premeditated attempt to wither one's feelings.
the feelings that we can't talk about are all dead
I once thought that if you give wholeheartedly, you can have it with all your heart.
I thought that as long as I shared it sincerely, the other person would respond equally enthusiastically.
but do not know that time is going, the heart is changeable, feelings are as difficult as before.
if you pay too much, you will inevitably be taken for granted.
the interesting words were repeated thousands of times, and finally they were as boring as a sigh.
feelings, which do not continue in communication, come to an end in silence.
A passage circulated on the Internet is a classic:
I don't ask, you don't say, this is the distance.
I asked, but if you don't tell me, this is estrangement.
how can there be a common language if one does not share and the other does not respond?
one is too lazy to care, the other is afraid to take the initiative, and the two hearts are drifting apart.
it's not that I don't want to say something, but that no one listens to it even though I have said it.
it's not that you don't care about some questions, but it's useless to know the answers.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said:
"A man's greatest harm to a woman is not that he falls in love with someone else, but that he disappoints her when she has expectations."
it is true.
one by one hurriedly hung up the phone, again and again waiting for the late return, a word of impatient words.
the repeated accumulation of disappointment behind it is enough to destroy all sincerity.
if a person has been left out in the cold for a long time, he will not say what he should not say or ask what he should not ask.
even if I have to say it, I will think a little more before I open my mouth.
the disappointment comes to an end, leaving only silence
Haruki Murakami said:
"No one likes to be alone, but they just don't want to be disappointed."
although there are thousands of kinds of heartache, silence is the most disappointing.
you may have tried to find your whereabouts unknown, only to find that no one is interested.
read a passage that is very heart-wrenching:
"if he doesn't reply to you, he really doesn't want to talk to you. You are angry if you don't reply to him. You think that if you don't reply to him, it seems to be even, but in fact, he doesn't care about it at all.
you take care of other people's feelings, but no one cares about your joys and sorrows.
Love can't stand the indifference again and again; love can't stand the cold again and again.
people who like to share will withdraw their desire for expression if they lose more times.
writer Zhao Hui once said:
"in the world of love, a woman's silence is the loudest cry and a harbinger of the end.
those who want to leave, the sound of closing the door is always the lightest.
sometimes what kills a relationship is not because two people are no longer in love, but because one partner doesn't want to be hurt again.
there is such a problem on Zhihu:
when did you find out you lost someone completely?
the most liked answer is:
when I no matter what, she is just silent, I know that everything has been irreparable.
the real way to give up is not to be angry or wail, but to hide the scarred heart with silence.
if a person no longer fiercely resists your attitude towards her, nor does he have any illusions about your attention.
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even if you have done something to hurt her, she no longer expects your explanation, which means that she is already more sad than her heart.
because everything about her from now on, she has decided to have nothing to do with you.
she began to learn to hide her own joys and sorrows, and carry all the good and bad things by herself.
as Tu Lei said: "Don't let a woman adapt to loneliness, once she adapts, she will no longer need you."
when a person gets through all the hardships, he doesn't want the candy from anyone.
the so-called treasure is to talk well
Life is not a movie, and feelings that have been stranded for a long time can be reconciled.
in reality, it doesn't matter if two people don't get in touch with each other. If you don't cherish it, there will always be others who cherish it for you.
Lu Xun said:
"feelings are two hearts that treat each other sincerely, not the beating of one heart against the other."
Don't let those who are waiting for you wait until they are hopeless. Don't let me miss your heart or not.
No one's existence is natural, and no one's contribution is taken for granted.
speak out your concern, grievances will not accumulate in your heart. Open up the contradictions so that misunderstandings will not hinder the relationship.
No matter how familiar the relationship is, we should always communicate with each other, share each other's joys and sorrows, ease their stress in work and life, and appease each other's grievances.
"Marriage is like a long-term conversation. When you decide to get married, you should consider whether you can talk and laugh until the end."
having something to talk about is the basis on which two people can be together. Having something to talk about all the time is a necessary condition for two people to walk together.
in fact, what matters is not what you talked about, but the atmosphere in which you can chat at any time.
you know that when you have something on your mind, someone will always listen. No matter what happens, you are not alone.
there is a passage on the Internet:
"people who love you will find it interesting even if you talk nonsense. People who don't love you find every word you say superfluous. "
is very true, the best half is never too much for you, understand the joy and sadness you hide under every word.
the communication between two people is not to complete the task, but out of the instinct of love.
when I see something interesting, I want to share it with each other. When you encounter bad troubles, you also want to talk to each other.
the temperature of feelings is based on such bits of sense of security.
Love is a two-way trip, not a personal effort.
Life is not long. It is the best blessing to meet someone who understands you and is willing to give you a response.
May every effort mean something to you, and may your tenderness receive an equal response.