If you don't care about others, you can avoid 80% of your troubles.

/July 2023



have you found that the better the relationship between two people, the easier it is to quarrel?

this is because in a relationship, you need a "just right" distance from each other.

once you cross the line, even the best relationship will deteriorate.

appreciate an oil painting, keep a certain distance, can see the most beautiful panorama; two hedgehogs warm, not far or near, can achieve the most comfortable state.

as the ancients said, "if the road is narrow, leave one step with the pedestrian; where the taste is strong, minus three points for people to taste."

moderate and measured is the most basic way for an adult to deal with the world.

keep a distance and leave three points of leeway to get along with others, so that the relationship between them can be more harmonious.

it is a disaster to take care of others in everything.

Wang Xiaobo once said:

"kindness is never an easy thing. Wrong kindness will not bring heaven to others, but will only drag you to hell."

sometimes, when you help others, you have to know that enough is enough.

Don't let your kindness become cheap, otherwise, it will be doomed to a disaster.

program "Strange stories", once shared an experience of his father in the program.

in the early years, his father moved from the countryside to the city through his own efforts, and became a policeman.

"if you help open an account, it will be easier for you to speak."

"can you arrange a job for the child?"

"my daughter is old. Help me find a reliable partner in the city."


every three and five, and so on.

some relatives don't even say hello, but just stay at home and wait for their father to help with the work before leaving.

his father was warm-hearted and tried his best to help at first.

but over time, all kinds of family chores accumulate more and more, and sometimes even become more and more chaotic, and I am exhausted by these things.

this reminds me of a video I saw on the Internet recently.

an uncle works outside because he earns money by himself to support his wife and two children.

he usually saves as much as he can, and his workers often see him only eat steamed bread for several days in a row.

as a result, a worker recorded a video of his uncle eating steamed bread and drinking plain boiled water and posted it on his own social platform, urging everyone to bring him to dinner. It is not easy for such a person to go out and work hard.

after the video was forwarded, it resonated with many people.

but one reply is very poignant:

"it is recommended not to bring it. A kind person will think about how to give it back, which will add to his burden. "

Yes, there is some kindness. If it is not handled properly, it will become a burden to others.

the secret of getting along comfortably between people is not only two ribs, but also enough is enough.

to maintain a proper sense of proportion is not indifference and alienation, but just right kindness.

Fools govern others, but wise men govern themselves

there is a debate topic in Qifa Shuo: your partner is willing to be a salted fish instead of making progress. Should you change him or not?

the answer given by many people is: no!

one of the guests said it took him many years to make this decision.

she and her husband just met, and when they introduced themselves, they said that they had average conditions and did not have much money.

as a result, after marriage, the husband really introduced himself, the two are obviously "strong women and weak men" marriage model.

although the husband has tried to change, the results are not satisfactory:

said that when he went to do the sneaker business, he ended up buying all his own shoes; he said he was doing insurance, but he was cheated out of his money.

under the expectation of your lover, you keep trying things you are not good at, and you always end up in embarrassment.

and whenever the husband has made a little achievement, he will have higher expectations of him.

this endless expectation and setback make the relationship between husband and wife more and more abnormal.

when she woke up in the middle of the night, she saw her husband smoking alone on the balcony.

she suddenly found that her husband, who had always been gentle and casual, had lost all his original spirit under her own pressure.

this long period of strong transformation has made them tired and even had a marital crisis.

"once I was keen on educating others, but now I think it is much more reliable to manage myself than to educate others."

in life, people pay attention to self-improvement, but do good deeds and do not cross others.

the world is full of disturbances and people come and go.

when you face life with an open mind and stop delusional about forcibly changing others, you will also be reborn.

Don't care about others, you can avoid 80% of your troubles in life

in a prosperous world, there are all kinds of things, and wanting to be uniform in everything will only hurt people and in vain.

always disagreeing with others and insisting on giving advice in other people's lives is actually a sign of lack of wisdom.

Don't care about others, you can avoid 80% of your troubles in life.

mind less about the family affairs of relatives.

there is a question on Zhihu: what kind of relatives are the most annoying?

the most favorable answer is: nosy relatives.

there are many relatives like this in our daily life. I want to point at everything from a healthy diet to getting married and having children.

maybe these warm-hearted relatives have good intentions.

but no one can really empathize with the trivialities of life, such as drinking water and knowing whether they are warm or cold.

is always intervening in other people's lives, not for the pleasure of helping others, but for the right to cross the line.

the arrangement of troops without boundaries is not only annoying, but also widens the distance between them.

mind less about your friends' private affairs.

A real social master knows how to properly handle the distance between each other, not far or near.

Lady Wang used to be a person who likes to dress up very much, and she is very active by nature, so she often clocks in and plays with her old classmates in various parks.

only blame the unfair fate. Recently, she suddenly found out that she was suffering from cancer and needed to cultivate herself.

Lady Wang didn't want others to see her gaunt because of illness, so she hid her illness from her old classmates. She only said that she had a chronic disease and didn't go out for two months.

Aunt Li, as a good friend of Grandma Wang for many years, had a bad feeling, but she only called and chatted with her intermittently and never mentioned her illness.

in this way, during her illness, Aunt Li comforted her heart and left enough space for her.

Adult friendship is not what I ask, you answer, but what you don't say, I understand.

to meddle in a friend's private affairs is not indifference, but a thoughtful balance.

mind your own business.

in life, there are many half-baked people who will tell you what to do.

you wear a satisfactory dress, and he says you don't have enough aura to support the color.

you are going to run for fitness. He says that running is not that easy. You are too busy to stick to it.

you have been overworked for a long time and want to treat yourself with a midnight snack. He tells you that junk food is not healthy.

there is a saying on the Internet that your evaluation of me does not constitute 1/10000 of me, but it is you at a glance.

We always try to stand from the right point of view and open the way for others to avoid lightning.

ignores the fact that in life, a good mood is more important than whether it is right or not.

affects other people's mood, no matter how correct it is, no one will pay the bill.

Don't take care of others. To respect others is to respect yourself.

when you reach middle age, you should learn to focus on yourself

Lin Yutang wrote in "Life is but this":

"you will always be your own protagonist, don't always play a supporting role in other people's plays."

the biggest "human worth" is trying to live a good life.

instead of paying attention to the right and wrong of the outside world, it is better to put more effort into establishing your own inner order.

learn to take the attention you focus on others back to yourself.

to maintain self-renewal and find inner balance at all times is the highest state of peace of mind.

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, may we all have a sense of propriety, do not disturb others' seasons, and enjoy our own splendid life.

Tong Tong